Take a Hint

Back in November I went on a couple of dates with this guy I shall refer to as 'Hans'. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was 6'1, 200 pounds of muscle and a real manly looking man. Not only was he great to look at, but he had his own place (no roomates), his own business and no wife or kids. (amazing). He had a great sense of humour and was a real gentleman. To top all this off, he came equipped with a sexxy European accent.

Seems perfect right? 2 words for you. Bad f'n kisser. By bad I mean horrible. And by horrible I mean the worst kisser that I have ever locked lips with...by a long shot.

So to make a long story short, instead of being up front and honest with Hans and telling him: "I don't want to go on another date with you because you are a bad kisser and we all know that if you can't kiss, you can't fuck". I thought it would be best to tell him I was busy until the new year - Figuring he would move. First week of January rolls around and guess who calls? Un huh, Hans. I ignored the phone call and message. Looking back, maybe I should have returned his call and given him the 'Its not you, its me routine' or something similar, but I assumed the guy could take a hint. He seemed normal.

So months go by and he's long outta sight and outta mind and my cel phone rings. It's him! (We are now into the middle of July) I don't answer and he leaves me a long message. The gyst of it: He wants to know what is going on with "US".

After 10 minutes of rolling on the floor laughing, and then about 10 seconds of feeling guilty, the only thing I could think of was; man thank god I have great intincts.

Sex? Yes, Please

I leave for Chicago in a few hours, in honor of that I have decided to post my "to do"list. I'm hoping that maybe I can cross a couple of the items off of my list. Since I'll be out of town, I will remain a virgin because according to my rules they won't count.

• Famous Rockstar
• Pro Hockey Player
• Pro Baseball Player
• Pro Soccer Player (in honor of the world cup)
• Model
• Politician
• Rob the cradle
• 10+ Older
• Policeman
• Fireman
• Uncircumsized Penis Guy
• Doctor

As you can see I have my work cut out for me. So I would like to enlist my readers help. *If you fit any of the above listed "items" on my list lets talk. If you know of any guys that fit the above mentioned "items", let him know The Bunny is looking for him.

*disclaimer: Must be hot, non furry and of at least average length.

Naked Man + Shower = Horny Bunny

There is nothing hotter than a good looking guy with a nice firm body and smooth skin taking a shower.

Can I help lather you up...Pretty please?

I Will Survive

Sung to I Will Survive

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans

Go on now - go, walk out the door
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries
My sex life's gonna thrive
I will always have good sex, with a handful of latex
I will survive! I will survive! ...Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multi speed

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries
My sex life's gonna thrive
I will always have good sex, with a handful of latex
I will survive! I will survive! ...Hey! Hey!

The Bunny Is Watching You

So, I'm at the gym running on the cross trainer. My speed is steady at 60mph, my heart rate steady at 135 and then I see HIM. The most gorgeous guy I have laid my eyes on all week.

I'm trying my best not to stare, drool or think dirty thoughts as he lies down on a bench. Then he begins to bench press and I find myself helping him count his reps. Six, seven, eight....nine 'ugh" (oooh, as i tilt my head), ten "UGHHHhh" (wow, that's so hot), eleven..GRruuughh, twel....beep beep beep, what the... my machine is beeping at me. Apparently I had been so caught up in Mr. Hot Guy, that I had sped up quite a bit and my heart rate was way out of range at 172!

This just validates my point, that I need to get laid!!

Get Laid Aid

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a system that would provide you with that extra bit of information you needed before deciding whether or not that guy you just met is worth fucking?

Imagine a system where you would never be dissapointed when bringing home a mate only to find out he has a mangina or suffers from limp dickeritis. A system so versatile that it would act as a warning for some and as a get laid aid for others.

I bring to you high-tech branding.

But Bunny, that sounds so complicated. It is actually quite simple my friends. A tiny micro-chip is inserted behind the neck or ears and your cel phone is used as the scanner. You simply scan your potential bed buddy (one nighter, or long-term) and all their brands appear on your phone. The information you would receive would be priceless. I have included a sample legend of the information you would be privy to. The possibilities are endless. Click here for full size version.