Dear Men

Dear Men,

If you are ever fortunate enough to receive a blow job from me and you have the goolies to shove my head down onto your hose while you are ejaculating, don't be surprised if I bite down...and HARD!

Sincerely,
The Bunny

Jacking Off At Work

While filling in for one of the managers at work I happened upon his desk calendar. On July 7th neatly printed in black marker were the words JACK OFF.

He had also scheduled to Jack Off July 28th and then for a whole week in August. Hmmm....this was interesting, I mean I've heard about couples scheduling "date" nights, but scheduling alone time? Then it dawned on me, Jack was one of his employees who was obviously going to be off those days.

Still...this made my day, I'm still chuckling about it hours later.

Hallelujah!

A pill is expected to hit the Canadian market soon that will eliminate a woman's period for as long as she likes.

Hallelujah!

God bless pharmaceutical giant Wyeth for creating Anya.

The Pill is still being reviewed by Health Canada and is expected to hit the market by the end of the year.

Hallelujah!

Pride Week In Toronto

Lesbian actress/talk show host Ellen Degeneris nearly drowned last week. Sources report that she was found face down in Rikki Lake.

Real Men Don't Lie

Men this is for you. This Site offers helpful tips and specific directions and guidelines so that you can measure your member accurately.

The Bunny's Wishlist

I saw my hockey instructor out of hockey gear last night. Definitely a hottie. I'm adding him to my wishlist. Along with fake titties and a rolex watch.

Went to WEGZ to watch game 6 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Incredible place to watch the game, I will definitely be going back.

In hockey news, Canes win the cup. And Kirk Muller is the new assistant coach of the Habs. Kirk and I go way back. ;)

Annoying Things Men Do In Bed

This is my list of the top 10 most irritating things a man can do in bed.

Men - Read the list, study the list and memerize the list.

1. Whine about wearing a condom. Just put it on and shut the fuck up.
2. Ask me if i'm close. This throws me off. I will tell you when I'm close....trust me.
3. Humping me in my sleep is a huge no-no. If I'm already asleep or damn near asleep and you are waking me up like that you will get a swift cock punching followed by your pillow being thrown into the hallway. I take my sleep VERY seriously.
4. If you are going to do any talking, it better be about how much I turn you on, or how great it feels to be inside me. I do not, I repeat DO NOT want to hear about your day, I just want you to fuck me.
5. Do not try the "Ooops, I didn't mean to put it there" aka 'The Wrong hole' trick. You're not as crafty as you think. The next time you try it you'll get donkey kicked to the wall.
6. Please do not cum 5 seconds before I am about to. I know your goal is to make yourself cum and my goal is to make myself cum. But it sure would be nice if you waited for me so that I wouldn't have to run to the washroom and get myself off.
7. Waking me up early in the morning. Just don't do it. When I'm awake I'll start rubbing your dick.
8. Do not try to put a bunch of fingers inside me to see how many will fit. If I want to be fisted, I'll ask. (Note - don't hold your breath, fisting does not turn me on)
9. I do like a facial once in a while, but please do not get your man-juice in my hair or in my eyes.
10. Do not get upset if I am not marinating in my own juices after engaging in little or no foreplay. I am working on it SpeedRacer.

The Bunny Show - Love On The Internet

Hey Folks, The Bunny here. We have a wild one for you. Today, we are going to talk about dating, love...and the internet! Thats right. Online dating, online love and even cybersex!!




OOOoooooohhh! BUN-NY, BUN-NY, BUN-NY!




Alright, let's give a warm welcome to our first guest, Mikey S. from Tabernouche, Quebec.





Hi Bunny! I'm so excited to be here. I'm such a fan. Thank you for having me.



So Mikey, tell us, what is the deal with cyber dating and cyber love? Why are you such an advocate for it? Talk to us Mikey.....




Well Bunny, all I can say is that I think online love is way better than the real deal. Its like this, for thirty long years I didn't get laid in the real-world, thirty years!! Do you know how strong my right arm is?



Stronger than we'd wanna know?





AH HA HAHA AH, BUN-NY, BUN-NY, BUN-NY!



Like I was saying, I never got laid in thirty years in the real-world. Now, I sign online. I'm a 26 year old model from New York City. I've got blonde hair and baby blue eyes and the women flock to me. I just..er..I just....GET IT ON. Oooooh yeah, baby. The chicks just can't get enough of me. Ugh Ugh Ugh.



WOOP WOOP WOOP GO MIKEY, GO MIKEY WOOP WOOP WOOP





But Mikey, aren't you lying to all those....uhm..."chicks"?




Does it really matter Bunny?




Well let's face it Mikey, you're a bit of an eyesore.

Alright, lets have another take on this thing. Audience, let's welcome our next guest...Dr. Phillllis


Hi Bunny. I have to say, Mikey is one of those reasons why I am against meeting people from the internet. I remember back in the day when if you were single you would go bar hopping, or participate in some sort of organized activity to meet new people. These days teenagers, young adults, cougars, jags, old farts are hopping onto the internet. I just firmly believe that there are safer and healthier ways of meeting people.

I have to agree with you Dr. Philllllllis. As you all know, I'm recently single and have been quite dissapointed with all the losers that show up just about everywhere in our society...even when they aren't welcome (yeah I'm talking about you). I can only imagine the types that are online.


Exactly. Bunny, the truth is that the internet scene is composed of those who just cannot cut it in the real world dating scenes. The losers you see in local bars at least are well adjusted enough to go look for partners in real life. In contrast, the people who would look for love online are so far below the mark that they don't even bother showing up to traditional places where one can find a mate, because they know it's hopeless.


Lets get some comments from our audience now.




I don't see what all the fuss is about. I love the internet. I met my true love on the internet and he is going to fly me to Iraq to meet him within the next few months. And then we will get married and live happily ever after. If it wasn't for the internet I'd be all alone.



I'll admit it, I met someone off the internet once. It was a horrible experience. I thought I was meeting a Rachel Hunter look alike. I made the 3 hour drive, and when I got to her place....she looked....just like... MIKEY S. I didn't know what to do. I was tired and horny, so I fucked her. But I left first thing in the morning and changed my email and telephone number the very next day.


And now its time for my final thoughts. Some people like online dating, while others don't. If you chose to try it, please use caution, because you can always be the victim of a murderer, a rapist or even Mikey S. When you are talking to people online you have no way of telling what the person you are talking to is like. Without the ability to see someone, you can not properly judge them, and you never know what sort of person you are talking to until you make the dangerous step of meeting them in real life. Most people you talk to online are aware of this, and exploit it to their benefit. Not only will they avoid speaking about their shortcomings, but they will often intentionally mislead you! Without the audio and visual cues you rely upon, you are powerless to determine if the person you are talking to is an average homely nerd or some sort of pornography addicted homosexual rapist. Take Care of yourselves and each other.

Now.....why can't I ever remember my damn lavalife password??

Who Are You Calling A Puck Bunny?

A puck bunny (also known as a Puck Slut) is a female ice-hockey fan, often one whose interest in the sport is primarily motivated by sexual attraction to the players rather than enjoyment of the game itself. Similar to a groupie as it relates to a rock band or musician.

Could I be a *gasp* Puck Bunny?

It's a known fact that I have a thing for men that play hockey. I won't deny it, in fact I am proud of it. I like hockey boys. I appreciate good looking athletic men, with nice muscular legs and round firm butts. Have you seen some of these guy? How could you not want to reach out and touch them? I'd take on the puck bunny name with pride to get with some of them and then I'd burn my vagina cause hockey players are some of the dirtiest guys around. But it would be worth it.



You may be a puck bunny if.... (from www.hockeyattitude.com)
1. You team is eliminated from the playoffs so you root for Carolina "because Cam Ward is hot!"
2. To you, NHL stands for "National Hottie League"
3. You wish they'd quit wasting valuable hottie-watching time while "those slow ice cream trucks drive around the ice during halftime."
3. You wonder why Jeremy Stevenson and Mike LeClerc don't get called up more often.
4. You "hate that guy from Billy Madison, but the guy in Happy Gilmore...now there's a stud!"
5. You can't understand why so many people boo Matt Barnaby and Darius Kasparaitis
6. You wonder what all the fuss about this "Wayne Gretzky" guy is?
7. Your pre-game ritual includes Wash 'n Curl.
8. On your list of hobbies is "hockey players."
9. You don't know who that Patrick "Rwa" guy is, but you love Patrick "Roy."
10. You think Derian Hatcher is an attractive man.